Assist Gradual The Demise Of Media With The Onion’s Annual Click on Drive

Again when it was an excellent, revered, and worthwhile enterprise, journalism employed hundreds of reporters who labored tirelessly to cowl fascinating and necessary tales from across the globe. However now, after years of neglect, an overreliance on programmatic promoting, and predation by personal fairness companies, the business is however a desiccated husk of its former self, crawling towards loss of life with nothing and nobody however The Onion to put it aside.

Happily, you are able to do your half to assist gradual the humiliating and utterly preventable demise of media by collaborating in The Onion’s annual Click on Drive.

Right now, we invite our dumbest, most loyal readers to spend only a few brief minutes of their unhappy, pathetic, nugatory lives clicking mindlessly via varied articles, columns, infographics, slideshows, and movies on TheOnion.com. Reasonably than permitting company overlords to intestine the business and promote it for components at present, you may assist guarantee they maintain off, line their pockets a bit longer, and as an alternative destroy your favourite information retailers tomorrow.

So please, open a browser in your pc or cellular gadget, kind in TheOnion.com, and click on wherever and in every single place for so long as you’re able. Each single click on via our bloated, ad-riddled web site will assist hold your entire business on life assist till a billionaire proprietor, personal fairness agency, or consulting group lastly decides to drag the plug as soon as and for all.

Double the factors when you click on via our whole Click on Drive slideshow, endure the excruciating full minute of pre-roll promoting on our movies, or click on on one of many many intrusive, browser-crashing advertisements under!

After which, when you’re finished, click on as quick as you completely can via another Pulitzer Prize–successful articles on TheOnion.com, like those right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, and right here.

Who is aware of? Perhaps sooner or later you’ll inform your grandchildren the way you clicked a whole lot of instances on an internet site, pumping embalming fluid into the rotten corpse of on-line media and permitting it to final about 30 seconds longer than it will have in any other case.

As long as you register only one pageview on TheOnion.com, you may assist the American public droop disbelief and proceed to fake that journalism is alive and properly for yet one more day. Along with your assist, we’re assured the business will survive simply lengthy sufficient to say goodbye earlier than descending right into a hellscape of deserted web sites, damaged URLs, and AI-generated click on farms for all eternity.