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Boeing’s popularity has suffered severe harm following a number of high-profile gear failures, together with a door panel detaching throughout an Alaska Airways flight. The Onion requested Boeing staff whether or not they would fly in a Boeing plane, and that is what they mentioned.
Mandy Smith, Manufacturing Supervisor
Mandy Smith, Manufacturing Supervisor
“I’ve seen the issues I’ve seen. I’ve performed the issues I’ve performed.”
Janet Brown, High quality Engineer
Janet Brown, High quality Engineer
“I’m not flying in an plane held collectively by its paint.”
Gavin Todd, Engineer
“Why, are you carrying a wire?”
Henrietta Rios, Operations Analyst
Henrietta Rios, Operations Analyst
“Would you fly a airplane that your coworkers constructed?”
Wealthy Conroy, Assembler
“I forgot to place touchdown gear in one of many planes, however I don’t know which one.”
Peter Loftus, Pilot
“The driving force’s-side door deal with broke off, so now it’s a must to climb in by the window, which is tremendous embarrassing for those who’re with a woman.”
Nicolas Alchin, Structural Analyst
Nicolas Alchin, Structural Analyst
“I really feel safer on the human-sized pneumatic tube I constructed from my home to Cleveland.”
Dave Calhoun, CEO
“I really can’t bear in mind whether or not any of my non-public jets are Boeings.”
Jason Clark, Duct Mechanic
Jason Clark, Duct Mechanic
“The wings don’t even flap.”
Daniel LaFew, Human Sources Consultant
Daniel LaFew, Human Sources Consultant
“I’m too tall to slot in the seats. That’s all, actually. And possibly I’ve laid off too many individuals.”
Ed Staverson, Meeting Technician
Ed Staverson, Meeting Technician
“Years in the past, you’d see one or two planes a yr go away the manufacturing facility with out touchdown gear, and also you’d shrug. However today, it’s like each different airplane, and I don’t like these probabilities.”
Julia Crockett, Software program Developer
Julia Crockett, Software program Developer
“Only a quirky love for doorways on planes.”
Derick Robinson, Engineer
Derick Robinson, Engineer
“I’ve a strict coverage in opposition to dying the place I work.”
Leonard Moreno, Challenge Supervisor
Leonard Moreno, Challenge Supervisor
“I desire the majesty of rail.”
Josh Mantooth, Engineer/Softball Coach
Josh Mantooth, Engineer/Softball Coach
“I refuse to fly in a airplane made by the identical idiots who went winless throughout our firm softball staff final season.”
Ben Kelley, Procurement Agent
Ben Kelley, Procurement Agent
“I fly Spirit, the place you’re extra prone to be killed by a passenger.”
Declan Sullivan, Structural Engineer
Declan Sullivan, Structural Engineer
“They only don’t make duct tape like they used to.”
You’ve Made It This Far…
You’ve Made It This Far…
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