in-chief – by Michael Estrin

The telemarketer says he’s searching for Martha.

“Martha Washington?” I ask.

“No, Martha Ramos.”

“That’s her maiden identify. She married me and have become a Washington.”

“And who’re you?”

“George,” I say. “I’m George Washington.”

“Nicely, is Martha there?”

“Sure, however she’s fairly busy brushing my picket enamel for the time being.”

“Nicely, I am calling to supply her an awesome deal on a mortgage refi.”

“Mortgage?”

“Sure, I see that she owns a property in Los Angeles.”

“Truly, it’s Mount Vernon, Virginia.”

“My mistake.”

“I’ll say.”

“Do you occur to know what your present rate of interest is, George?”

“I don’t. Martha dealt with all of the funds whereas I used to be away at battle.”

“Are you a veteran, George?”

“Sure.”

“Nicely, first I’d wish to thanks on your service. And second, I’d wish to let you understand that there are particular packages for veterans.”

“My service is hardly value mentioning. Martha bore the true brunt of my deployment.”

“I hear you. It should be powerful to deploy abroad.”

“Abroad? Attempt spending a winter in Pennsylvania. My picket enamel wouldn’t cease chattering. However I can’t complain. I misplaced a whole lot of good mates to typhoid and dysentery. We additionally ran out of meals. I ended up consuming my horse, which isn’t straightforward to do with picket enamel.”

“Sir…”

“Sure.”

“I believe you’re joking. I do know you’re not George Washington.”

“You bought me,” I sigh. “I can’t inform a lie. However I want to discuss a refi, if that’s nonetheless on the desk.”

“Nice. What’s your actual identify? Let’s begin with that.”

“Alex Hamilton.”

“And what do you do for a residing, Mr. Hamilton?”

“I used to work in finance, however nowadays it’s all musical theater on a regular basis.”

In honor of Presidents’ Day, I’m discounting subscriptions to State of affairs Regular by 31%. Why 31%, you ask? As a result of something extra would break the financial institution, and something much less can be downright unAmerican. Additionally, I selected 31% in honor of William Henry Harrison, an American President most individuals have by no means heard of. Why? As a result of Harrison, who endured a chilly, wet Inauguration Day with out a hat or a coat, died in workplace 31 days later. The trigger: a chilly! If that’s not absurd, I don’t know what’s. However if you need 31 p.c off—one proportion level for every day of Harrison’s sickly administration—CLICK HERE AND CLAIM YOUR PRESIDENTIAL DISCOUNT.

I really like eavesdropping. I’d name it a responsible pleasure, however I don’t really feel responsible about spying on strangers, so it’s simply pleasure. Talking of enjoyment (and eavesdropping), I liked this story from

about listening in on two strangers on a primary date. Test it out right here.

True story! I’m an award-winning journalist (B2B & B2C, print & digital), an op-ed ghostwriter who has helped a whole bunch of start-ups inform their tales, and a flexible copywriter who kicks ass and triple-checks the spelling of names. My bona fides are on LinkedIn. I just lately launched Thought Companion to speak extra about how firms and people can use thought management to make themselves heard over the noise. Perhaps my providers are what you’ve been searching for, or possibly there’s one thing else I may help with, equivalent to:

• Recent web site copy that makes your skilled story sing? ✅

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If it’s authorized and if it falls beneath the heading of writing / storytelling, I may help. E mail me at michael.j.estrin@gmail.com.

The e book variations of my books are priced between 99 cents and $2.99, so in case you don’t have the price range for a State of affairs Regular subscription, shopping for an e book is an effective way to assist my work. Bonus: you’ll snigger your butt off!

the drill. I’ve obtained questions, you’ve obtained solutions.

1. Who’s your favourite American President, and why is it Chester A. Arthur? Go deep (state)!

2. Why didn’t William Henry Harrison put on a coat and hat? Fallacious solutions solely!

3. Has anybody ever purchased something from telemarketer? Clarify!

4. Who made the mattress trade king of Presidents’ Day offers?

5. Any plans for the three-day weekend? Additionally, shouldn’t all weekends be three days?

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