Conservatives Clarify Why Informal Intercourse Ought to Be Unlawful

“I’m morally against enjoyable.”

“Makes it that a lot hotter understanding it’s unlawful.”

“Hooking up with a floozy on the bar is an efficient strategy to get your truck busted up by Carrie Underwood, however I’m not stunned liberals don’t perceive.”

“The one ethical justification for intercourse is procreation and honeypotting a international diplomat.”

“Informal intercourse solely results in one factor: Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis 2011 rom-coms battling on the field workplace.”

“For much too lengthy, our authorized system has protected folks extra fuckable than I’m.”

“Intercourse ought to be between a husband and spouse making an attempt to re-spark their love life at a lodge after the Pink live performance in Cleveland.”

“Are you able to think about the chaos that may ensue if everybody stopped logging their intercourse with their city registrar?”

“Dry-humping is greater than sufficient to get me off.”

“I simply assume cops ought to barge into extra bedrooms.”

“Individuals don’t take boinking critically anymore.”

“If our nation spent much less time on pube trimming, we’d have extra time for warfare.”

“I’ve a number of unexamined psychological points surrounding intercourse, relationships, and energy, and that is the one manner I can see to resolve them.”

“When you noticed my dick, you’d know nobody’s touching that factor only for enjoyable.”

“When you’ve got an excessive amount of informal intercourse, you may overlook how you can masturbate.”

“Informal intercourse takes valuable time away from informal racism.”’

“It will be simpler to checklist the issues that I don’t assume ought to be unlawful.”