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All the things We Know About Arizona’s 1864 Abortion Ban

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The Arizona Supreme Courtroom dominated {that a} Civil Struggle–period near-total abortion ban is legislation. The Onion offers in-depth evaluation of all the pieces we learn about Arizona’s 1864 abortion legislation.

Arizona Wasn’t A State But

Arizona Wasn’t A State But

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Fortunately the Arizona Supreme Courtroom believes statehood begins at conception.

It’s Written In Previous-Timey Language

It’s Written In Previous-Timey Language

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Girls are solely known as “varmints” all through the legislation’s textual content.

The Civil Struggle Was When Girls’s Rights Peaked

The Civil Struggle Was When Girls’s Rights Peaked

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In 1864, girls really had way more rights than males, who on the time weren’t even allowed to vote.

It Consists of A Particular Provision For The Case Of Rape

It Consists of A Particular Provision For The Case Of Rape

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If the being pregnant is a results of rape, the mom and her rapist will share a jail cell.

Crumbled Into Mud The Second The Justices Took It Out Of Its Case

Crumbled Into Mud The Second The Justices Took It Out Of Its Case

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Though the invoice dissolved when Arizona Chief Justice Robert M. Brutinel eliminated it from its protecting chamber, he did go on to say “Oops” and stress that he had learn it a bunch and “just about” remembered all the pieces it stated.

It Says A Child Is Conceived When God Carried out Put It In There

It Says A Child Is Conceived When God Carried out Put It In There

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Unsurprisingly, science wasn’t as superior again then.

There Is An Exception To Save The Girl’s Life

There Is An Exception To Save The Girl’s Life

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See, it’s not so unhealthy! As soon as once more, these sluts are overreacting.

Every Particular person Sperm Is Granted The Proper Of Secession

Every Particular person Sperm Is Granted The Proper Of Secession

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The one case during which a being pregnant can legally be terminated is that if a sovereign sperm decides to secede from the egg.

Temperatures In Arizona Have Risen About 2.5 Levels Fahrenheit Since The Starting Of The twentieth Century

Temperatures In Arizona Have Risen About 2.5 Levels Fahrenheit Since The Starting Of The twentieth Century

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Simply looks as if one thing they need to be taking motion on as an alternative of this.

It’s Up To The States To Determine How To Torture Girls

It’s Up To The States To Determine How To Torture Girls

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For the reason that overturning of Roe v. Wade, it’s now as much as states to determine new, thrilling, fucked-up methods to smash girls’s lives.

Rape And Incest Are Chill There

Rape And Incest Are Chill There

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It’s even turn into the cornerstone of the state’s new nationwide tourism marketing campaign.

Requires All Girls Who Get Abortions To Additionally Obtain An Emergency Trepanning

Requires All Girls Who Get Abortions To Additionally Obtain An Emergency Trepanning

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Legislators in 1864 required all girls to have a gap bored by means of their cranium in an effort to cleanse their head of demons.

The Regulation Particularly Calls Out These Sluts At ASU

The Regulation Particularly Calls Out These Sluts At ASU

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Although the college wouldn’t be shaped till 1885, the legislation knew these girls had been constructed in another way.

Written In Forgotten, Eldritch Tongue

Written In Forgotten, Eldritch Tongue

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Lengthy earlier than English turned the language of the land within the early twentieth century, an odd and unnameable language was used that brought on the eyes of those that learn it to overtly bleed and drove mad anybody who dared converse its syllables aloud.

Any Girl, Regardless Of Whether or not They’ve Had An Abortion, Can Be Prosecuted Below The 1864 Regulation

Any Girl, Regardless Of Whether or not They’ve Had An Abortion, Can Be Prosecuted Below The 1864 Regulation

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Greatest to not take probabilities when coping with a everlasting underclass.

All Aborted Fetuses Had been Conscripted Into The Civil Struggle

All Aborted Fetuses Had been Conscripted Into The Civil Struggle

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No matter how developed their fetus was on the time, girls had been required to place it in a military uniform and provides it a musket.

Celebration Faculties Are Not Happy

Celebration Faculties Are Not Happy

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With out abortions, they’d lose tuition from half of every class.

It Provides A Half To The Hippocratic Oath About How Abortion Is A Sin

It Provides A Half To The Hippocratic Oath About How Abortion Is A Sin

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In Arizona, when medical doctors take the Hippocratic oath, they should acknowledge that God will smite them for saving a lady’s life.

Consists Of Big X Written On Parchment

Consists Of Big X Written On Parchment

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All legislators from the interval had been illiterate, so the present Arizona Supreme Courtroom might have been considerably liberal in its interpretation of this single big X.

It Consists of 67 Pages Of Pornographic Charcoal Drawings

It Consists of 67 Pages Of Pornographic Charcoal Drawings

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Lawmakers tried to seize each potential reason behind being pregnant on this addendum.

It Was Sponsored By Billingham’s Horses

It Was Sponsored By Billingham’s Horses

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The native horse farm paid 30 cents to run a full-page advert mid-bill.

There’s A Glass Field With A Gun In It That Says ‘In Case Of Abortion’

There’s A Glass Field With A Gun In It That Says ‘In Case Of Abortion’

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The invoice comes with a gun that legislators can use to search out girls who dare to interrupt the legislation.

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