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Chris Pine’s directorial debut, Poolman, is a lethal uninteresting flop that ranks as one of many worst directorial debuts in current reminiscence.
PLOT: A spacey pool cleaner (Chris Pine) discovers a plot to steal water from Los Angeles throughout a drought.
REVIEW: (NOTE – POOLMAN WAS REVIEWED AT TIFF 2023) Within the fourteen years I’ve been masking TIFF, I’ve seen solely a handful of films that I’d say have been shockingly unhealthy. The Mickey Rourke/ Megan Fox/ Invoice Murray dud Ardour Play involves thoughts. Poolman ranks with the worst motion pictures I’ve ever reviewed at JoBlo. It’s a stunningly unfunny comedian noir vainness mission for star Chris Pine, who additionally directed and co-wrote the movie. That it was made in any respect is a testomony to the ability of celeb, because it has already turn out to be infamous on the pageant for the quantity of walkouts happening on the screenings.
So why is Poolman so terrible? It comes all the way down to the screenplay and Pine’s grating lead efficiency as a sort of “lovable” loser that’s clearly patterned on Jeff Bridges’s flip as The Dude in The Massive Lebowski. Alas, Pine isn’t both of the Coen Bros, with the character unbearable proper from the beginning, as he cranks out every day letters to Erin Brokovich (a truth the film thinks is hilarious) and hooks up along with his aloof girlfriend, performed by Jennifer Jason Leigh, who’s sleeping with everybody else round him. He lives in an outdated residence complicated owned by Jack (Danny DeVito) and Diane (Annette Bening), who might or will not be his adopted mother and father; the film by no means fairly makes up its thoughts.
His character, Darren, is obsessive about public transit in Los Angeles and attends weekly metropolis council conferences the place he tortures his metropolis councilman nemesis (Stephen Tobolowsky) along with his “wacky” shows. He’s approached by a femme fatale (the attractive DeWanda Sensible) with a scoop that one thing shady could also be occurring with the native water provide, and earlier than you understand it, he’s popping Chinatown into the VHS and occurring his personal L.A odyssey.
A film like this lives and dies by its central character, and Pine is rarely convincing as a down-and-out hippie Poolman. He’s making an attempt to stretch past his main man consolation stage, and whereas his roguish allure was humorous in Dungeons & Dragons, he’s not in a position to make Darren something greater than a joke, and a foul one at that. His makes an attempt at Coen Bros-type absurdist humour fall lethal flat, with two henchmen inexplicably dressed like Crocket and Tubbs in Miami Vice and Tobolowski’s Rabbi doing drag reveals as one of many Golden Women. You by no means spend money on the thriller as a result of Pine is nothing lower than grating within the lead function.
What’s particularly grating about Poolman is how self-satisfied it’s. Pine had constructed your entire film round himself, with not one of the supporting solid ever actually getting an opportunity to shine. None of them, not even the all the time dependable DeVito and Bening, make an impression, with solely Sensible someway strolling away wanting good as she fits the femme fatale function. Technically, the movie is impeccable, with Pine capturing the film on 35mm along with his Surprise Girl DP Matthew Jensen (Patty Jenkins is a producer). However as fairly because it seems to be, sitting via 100 minutes of Pine doing desperately unfunny schtick turns into a chore.
The actual fact is, TIFF audiences are notoriously form to motion pictures. I’ve seen duds get bit rounds of applause, as we Canadians are respectful, regardless of how unhealthy a film is. But, the excitement round TIFF following Poolman‘s premiere has been lethal (including insult to damage, there was an enormous plan to display this on 35mm on particularly created prints that by no means occurred). Pine’s first movie landed with a thud, but it surely’s proof that comedy could be powerful to tug off, even when tinged with drama. This desperately needs to be the subsequent Massive Lebowski or Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, however it will be higher for all concerned if Poolman comes and goes with out a lot fuss.
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