Two years after overturning Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Courtroom is that this week listening to arguments in a case that might curtail or remove nationwide entry to mifepristone, generally referred to as the abortion capsule. Listed below are a number of the issues that might occur when the courtroom ultimately points its resolution.
French Ladies Will Learn About This And Assume, ‘Man, That Blows’
French Ladies Will Learn About This And Assume, ‘Man, That Blows’
In France, the place abortion entry was just lately enshrined within the structure, thousands and thousands of ladies will look at a headline about this; suppose, “Jeez, that’s tough”; and shake their heads. They’ll in all probability suppose this in French, although.
Supreme Courtroom Will Grow to be Nation’s Chief Scientists
Supreme Courtroom Will Grow to be Nation’s Chief Scientists
Swapping out their black robes for white lab coats, the 9 justices will turn into the main specialists on questions relating to mobile biology, evolutionary psychology, geology, quantum physics, oceanography, astrophysics, and extra.
Most likely Have To Pull Aspirin And Flintstones Nutritional vitamins From Market Too
Most likely Have To Pull Aspirin And Flintstones Nutritional vitamins From Market Too
Given mifepristone’s fatality fee of 1 one-thousandth of a single p.c, the Meals and Drug Administration may even have to think about pulling Tylenol and Pepto Bismol from the market.
The Supreme Courtroom Might Double-Overturn ‘Roe v. Wade’
The Supreme Courtroom Might Double-Overturn ‘Roe v. Wade’
The courtroom may doubtlessly be so hopped up on energy over girls’s our bodies that they double-overturn Roe, ensuing within the ruling being restored to its full energy.
Abortion Rights Expanded After Justices Vote 9-0 To Legalize Mifepristone In All 50 States
Abortion Rights Expanded After Justices Vote 9-0 To Legalize Mifepristone In All 50 States
Our therapist stated we would have liked to cease being so pessimistic.
People Will Be Compelled To Brew Their Personal Mifepristone In Bathtub
People Will Be Compelled To Brew Their Personal Mifepristone In Bathtub
A splash of povidone K30, a pinch of anhydrous colloidal silica, and a splash of grapefruit juice, only for taste.
It Would Make It Tougher To Kill The Antichrist Rising Inside You
It Would Make It Tougher To Kill The Antichrist Rising Inside You
New restrictions may considerably hamper the power of ladies in conservative states to entry the medicine essential to kill the demon spawn that grows inside.
Mommy Will Have To Take A Journey To California For A Little Whereas, Okay?
Mommy Will Have To Take A Journey To California For A Little Whereas, Okay?
Are you able to be an excellent little boy and assist Daddy round the home whereas Mommy terminates the undesirable fetus inside her?
Non-Virile Males Will Lastly Be Rewarded
Non-Virile Males Will Lastly Be Rewarded
Finally, males who instantly ejaculate into their denims or can not keep onerous sufficient to penetrate their feminine accomplice—thereby providing no threat of being pregnant—will turn into a sizzling commodity.
It Might Give An Edge To Democrats In November
It Might Give An Edge To Democrats In November
Actually? Ladies all around the nation are struggling, and all you select to give attention to are the electoral penalties for a bunch of do-nothing losers who failed to forestall this within the first place? Un-fucking-believable.
Miscarriages Will By no means Occur
Miscarriages Will By no means Occur
They solely occur now as a result of girls know they’ve the choice.
Samuel Alito Might Lose His Standing As A Feminist Icon
Samuel Alito Might Lose His Standing As A Feminist Icon
Regardless of his previous a long time of goodwill, the affiliate justice will possible by no means once more be given the chance to write down the introduction to books by Judith Butler or chair the fee for any upcoming Ladies’s Marches.
The Maryland Tourism Board Might Use A Win
The Maryland Tourism Board Might Use A Win
If the courtroom takes away telemedicine entry to mifepristone, this protected haven for abortion rights may promote Baltimore as a viable vacation spot for determined People in want.
Extra Ladies Will Be Compelled To Terminate Pregnancies By Having Ozzy Osbourne Chew The Head Off Their Fetus Like It Was A Bat
Extra Ladies Will Be Compelled To Terminate Pregnancies By Having Ozzy Osbourne Chew The Head Off Their Fetus Like It Was A Bat
There are, nonetheless, Supreme Courtroom circumstances within the pipeline seeking to restrict the heavy metallic star’s skill to soundly finish a being pregnant by tearing a fetus’s head off along with his enamel and spitting it right into a cheering crowd.
Mass Protests By Nation’s Genitals
Mass Protests By Nation’s Genitals
If the abortion capsule is banned, vaginas and penises from throughout the nation will converge on Washington in an uproar.
The Drug’s Producers Will Be Nice
The Drug’s Producers Will Be Nice
Don’t fear, they all the time come out on prime.
No Method She’s Going To Let You Hit It Uncooked Now
No Method She’s Going To Let You Hit It Uncooked Now
Child, please, we promise we’ll drive you to Canada if now we have to.
Paranoid People Tripling Or Even Quadrupling Up On Condoms
Paranoid People Tripling Or Even Quadrupling Up On Condoms
Fuck it, let’s simply placed on the entire field.
Alternative For Cartels To Rating Some Feminism Factors
Alternative For Cartels To Rating Some Feminism Factors
It could be nice for enterprise and their manufacturers.
Audiences Will Not Get pleasure from ‘Joker: Folie à Deux’ As A lot
Audiences Will Not Get pleasure from ‘Joker: Folie à Deux’ As A lot
The jukebox musical sequel to the 2019 movie starring Joaquin Phoenix shall be barely much less pleasurable as a result of audiences should take into consideration how tousled their nation’s strategy to reproductive freedom is.
Have To Discover New Excuse Not To Attend Protests
Have To Discover New Excuse Not To Attend Protests
Ooh, sorry, we are able to’t, now we have our, uh, anti-racist e-book membership that day.
Highway Journey!!
Seize your passports! Vamos a México, chica!
Extra Competitors For Tammy Mae In The Lil’ Miss Texas Contest
Extra Competitors For Tammy Mae In The Lil’ Miss Texas Contest
Simply when everybody thought she had it locked up, right here comes a complete new crop of toddlers.
Social gathering-Man Dan Can No Longer Come On Bachelor Social gathering Journey
Social gathering-Man Dan Can No Longer Come On Bachelor Social gathering Journey
He has to remain dwelling and care for his buzzkill of a pregnant girlfriend now.
Aspect Piece Might Get Fats With Child Inside
Aspect Piece Might Get Fats With Child Inside
Now she’s as gross as your spouse.
Might Ban Ladies From Utilizing Computer systems
Might Ban Ladies From Utilizing Computer systems
It’s the one method to crack down on telehealth.
‘Pac-Man’ Arcade Cupboard Tougher To Play
‘Pac-Man’ Arcade Cupboard Tougher To Play
Large bump makes it onerous to achieve the joystick together with your arms, and that bastard Inky is relentless.
Compelled Births
Oh wait, that already occurs. By no means thoughts!
Ladies Going To Nag Extra
Cripes, not one other factor for them to complain about.
Nancy Pelosi Will Promote A Lot Of Inventory
Nancy Pelosi Will Promote A Lot Of Inventory
About 30 minute earlier than the ruling is introduced, Pelosi will promote all her shares in GenBioPro, which manufactures mifepristone.
