[ad_1]
Donald Trump lately introduced on Reality Social that he has teamed up with nation music artist Lee Greenwood to promote a customized “God Bless The USA” Bible for $59.99. Right here is all the things we all know concerning the bespoke non secular textual content that the previous president is hawking.
Scholarly Annotations By Kevin Sorbo
The MAGA loyalist and Hercules: The Legendary Journeys star supplies insightful historic notes all through.
Drippings From Trump’s Cheeseburger
The grease stains showing halfway by the Gospel of Mark had been solely made on just a few copies, which at the moment are limited-edition collector’s gadgets.
Half The place Jesus Encounters 5,000 Hungry Individuals And Runs Them Over With Pickup Truck
Different Bibles simply gloss over this miracle.
Israelites Have Been Renamed
As a way to make them appear much less Jewish, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob now go by Tucker, Rudy, and Ted Nugent.
Retelling Of Crucifixion In Which Jesus Is Killed By Migrant Caravan
The edited scripture stresses Jesus by no means would’ve died if Jerusalem had a robust border wall.
1988 ‘Hustler’ Centerfold
Amberlee is a barely authorized dancer out of Sarasota, Florida.
Readers Are Named As Co-Defendants In His Subsequent Authorized Case
Nestled throughout the “phrases and situations” is a clause that states buy of the Bible makes the proprietor legally culpable in all future instances introduced in opposition to Trump, whether or not civil or prison.
Trump’s Golf Scorecard
If God Almighty says Trump shot a 67, then it have to be true.
Blasphemy Matches
The within cowl features a set of easy-strike matches for burning all heretical, non-Trump variations of the Bible.
Eric Trump Chew Marks
He received ahold of some copies, sorry.
Upgradable
For an additional $20 you will get one that claims adultery is okay.
Illuminations Of Jesus Collaborating In Jan. 6
Apparently Christ the Lord would’ve gladly hung Mike Pence.
Trump Household Family tree
If you happen to learn carefully sufficient you will notice that the previous president is a descendant of Jacob and can stay to be 248 years outdated.
A number of Categorized Paperwork
Copies of the U.S. navy’s nuclear launch codes may be discovered halfway by Leviticus in most copies.
Supplemental Part Contains Lyrics To Child Rock’s ‘Bawitdaba’
A part of the trouble to gather all essentially the most important religious texts in a single place.
Three Bonus Gospels
The Trump New Testomony consists of never-before-seen books together with the Gospels of Eric, Tiffany, and Boebert.
No Outdated Testomony
[ad_2]
