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Greatest Elements Of Trump’s $60 ‘God Bless The USA’ Bible

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Donald Trump lately introduced on Reality Social that he has teamed up with nation music artist Lee Greenwood to promote a customized “God Bless The USA” Bible for $59.99. Right here is all the things we all know concerning the bespoke non secular textual content that the previous president is hawking.

Scholarly Annotations By Kevin Sorbo

Scholarly Annotations By Kevin Sorbo

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The MAGA loyalist and Hercules: The Legendary Journeys star supplies insightful historic notes all through.

Drippings From Trump’s Cheeseburger

Drippings From Trump’s Cheeseburger

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The grease stains showing halfway by the Gospel of Mark had been solely made on just a few copies, which at the moment are limited-edition collector’s gadgets.

Half The place Jesus Encounters 5,000 Hungry Individuals And Runs Them Over With Pickup Truck

Half The place Jesus Encounters 5,000 Hungry Individuals And Runs Them Over With Pickup Truck

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Different Bibles simply gloss over this miracle.

Israelites Have Been Renamed

Israelites Have Been Renamed

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As a way to make them appear much less Jewish, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob now go by Tucker, Rudy, and Ted Nugent.

Retelling Of Crucifixion In Which Jesus Is Killed By Migrant Caravan

Retelling Of Crucifixion In Which Jesus Is Killed By Migrant Caravan

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The edited scripture stresses Jesus by no means would’ve died if Jerusalem had a robust border wall.

1988 ‘Hustler’ Centerfold

1988 ‘Hustler’ Centerfold

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Amberlee is a barely authorized dancer out of Sarasota, Florida.

Readers Are Named As Co-Defendants In His Subsequent Authorized Case

Readers Are Named As Co-Defendants In His Subsequent Authorized Case

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Nestled throughout the “phrases and situations” is a clause that states buy of the Bible makes the proprietor legally culpable in all future instances introduced in opposition to Trump, whether or not civil or prison.

Trump’s Golf Scorecard

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If God Almighty says Trump shot a 67, then it have to be true.

Blasphemy Matches

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The within cowl features a set of easy-strike matches for burning all heretical, non-Trump variations of the Bible.

Eric Trump Chew Marks

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He received ahold of some copies, sorry.

Upgradable

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For an additional $20 you will get one that claims adultery is okay.

Illuminations Of Jesus Collaborating In Jan. 6

Illuminations Of Jesus Collaborating In Jan. 6

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Apparently Christ the Lord would’ve gladly hung Mike Pence.

Trump Household Family tree

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If you happen to learn carefully sufficient you will notice that the previous president is a descendant of Jacob and can stay to be 248 years outdated.

A number of Categorized Paperwork

A number of Categorized Paperwork

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Copies of the U.S. navy’s nuclear launch codes may be discovered halfway by Leviticus in most copies.

Supplemental Part Contains Lyrics To Child Rock’s ‘Bawitdaba’

Supplemental Part Contains Lyrics To Child Rock’s ‘Bawitdaba’

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A part of the trouble to gather all essentially the most important religious texts in a single place.

Three Bonus Gospels

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The Trump New Testomony consists of never-before-seen books together with the Gospels of Eric, Tiffany, and Boebert.

No Outdated Testomony

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You’ve Made It This Far…

You’ve Made It This Far…

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